Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
