My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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