Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
