Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
