I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
