a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
