Apparently you make a good broom.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
