So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
