If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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