just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
