the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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