My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
