Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
