Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
