Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
