a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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