So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
