sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
