Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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