So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
