nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
