I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
