How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
