member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
