its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
