man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
