just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
