You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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