Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
