I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
