I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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