well you can't waste a boner
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
