So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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