A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
