Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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