U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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