Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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