you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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