I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
