I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
