I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
