I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
