Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
