So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
