I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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