Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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