its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
