Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
