I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
