He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
