Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
