I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
