..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
