I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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